I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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