You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
