YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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