dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize