she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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