i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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