I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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