do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
