my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Church boner. Awkwardddd
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
