I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
