Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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