This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
