When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
