i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
jump out the window naked night went bad
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