Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
