Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
