I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
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He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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