I didn't shave. On purpose
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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