But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
