Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
