were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
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I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
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But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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