I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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