Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
