apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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