Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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