Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
