so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
