we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
