I want to walk on stilts...naked
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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