I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When did angry sex become our thing?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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