He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
