id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
