well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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