I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year