so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
