She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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