am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
