no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
