fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think people are normalizing furries
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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