"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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