I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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