I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
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Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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