I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
