I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
