That's intense
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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