Nicole vs. Life
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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