you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
