did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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