i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
