So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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