im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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