do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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