I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
