so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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