i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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