Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
