Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
At least make sure they are 18
Why
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
