I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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