just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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