Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
