She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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