I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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